Long Summer Change is inevitable

My heart is slowly growing familiar with the idea of another baby on the way---yes, No. 5.  

We're coasting on the grace and tremendous mercy of God these days.  I've conceded to listened to God's voice in the moments of humility and not the moments of autonomy.

Being a mother of five has never crossed my mind and defies my confidence and personal resolve in many ways---God has me here to draw near to Him.

Marriage is an ever-mysterious process of sanctification but keeps me humble so I know I need it.  

Life is simple and full of the unknown so there's nowhere to look but up for grace and guidance.  God is good all the time.

This place grows cold and empty

What kind of words can I use to describe this place?  A broken heart is such an overdone theme.  This image is a feeble attempt at mending but knowing it'll never be quite the same.  Ugh!  It's like I'm stuck in the chorus of another sad song.  No changes, distractions, or hope for some deterring agenda will take me away from this place and yet I truly wish to leave it with every notion I've left to feel.  It's homesick for a home that didn't even exist.  It's the trap door that doesn't seem to relatch.  It's battling a flatline that seems like the only means of surviving.  

Psalm 22:14-15

I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint;

my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast; my strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to my jaws; you lay me in the dust of death.

2 Samuel 22:31This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.

Job 5:18 For he wounds, but he binds up; he shatters, but his hands heal.

This place, a distance from the last place

Today and now a series of days have been incredibly hopeful where before, "hope" seemed hard to own...

Vitality...

Things like awesome weather and deep-gut laughter breathe vitality and reveal hope surrounding me.  Blessings of wealth in many small voices and large opinions--many by which I am humbled, impressed, and inspired.

Prayers have been so abundantly answered above my meager requests. 

God's movement is strong and making an impression deeper than my heart has ever known.

I can't stop to look back so much but relish in the here and now and receive strength in patience to stay out of God's way while He transforms me and my husband and my family....I really need to quit getting in His way.

Letting God move is harder than I thought.  He moves me to tears--to be made new but this healing process only works when it hurts.  I hurt so much I want to flee.  I hurt when I pretend not to hurt.  I hurt when I see myself apart from God begging for His nearness and I realize I hurt myself doubting His steadfast love and faithfulness.

Hosea 6:1-3

6 “Come, let us return to the Lord;
    for he has torn us, that he may heal us;
    he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.
2 After two days he will revive us;
    on the third day he will raise us up,
    that we may live before him.
3 Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord;
    his going out is sure as the dawn;
he will come to us as the showers,
    as the spring rains that water the earth.”

Praise be to God.

truth bearing

Just got transfixed on this piece of glorious text from a Desiring God blog written by Dan DeWitt:

"In this way, all of reality is the believer’s ally in sharing the gospel. Our universal longing for transcendent meaning actually points to a transcendent source. And only Jesus can satisfy this persistent craving. To paraphrase Pascal, this is a God-sized problem that only God can fix. Only the gospel provides an exclusive foundation for human flourishing. All other ground is sinking sand."

...this challenges the heart and mind to absorb to relate, sympathize, and inspire a spirit of Christ.  Amen to soul searching answers through Christ Jesus! 

Read the greater context of DeWitt's message here: http://us2.campaign-archive1.com/?u=94431c7fc1ffa54485d1c84fe&id=001748013d&e=cfe6e84962

More on the canary

I still would like to see/have a real one...  

Proverbs 31:26

Declaring

Where I remain is not in the flesh nor in the surroundings of this life but in Christ.  There is no other place I care to exist or can manage to survive without the promise of what's to come because of the ransom paid on my behalf.  I am not swayed by man and pray each of my kids will be won over by God's steadfast love.  Promised to Him, sustained in Christ, looking always at the greater purpose of this life.  Nothing will ever compare to the security and eternal treasure of Gods love.  Adonai! Lord reign! 

Psalm 107:2

2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble